


Schrodinger's Tattoo

by lazarusthefirst



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Blowjobs, M/M, One Shot, Tattoos, Teasing, mcdanno, minor fluff, secret tattoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-13 04:54:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/820222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazarusthefirst/pseuds/lazarusthefirst
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They’d been on two more car journeys and to lunch, and he still hadn’t stopped. Astonishment had turned to humour, followed by pestering, badgering, then outright frustration, and finally, a deceptive calm and assumed "I don’t really care anyways" attitude that Danny didn’t believe for a second. In between grilling suspects Steve had grilled Danny, and he wasn’t the sort to let things go. Especially not something this loaded with potential hilarity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Schrodinger's Tattoo

**Author's Note:**

> Basically I got it into my head that Steve figures he knows everything about Danny, and is shocked and annoyed to discover that he isn't the brilliant know-it-all he thinks he is. Also someone suggested that Danny would be a brilliant secret keeper and that Steve can't stand secrets because he's an impatient nosy child. And thus, a fic was born.

‘Remind me why I let you drive again? Seriously, is being emasculated by my daughter not enough humiliation for one day, you have to drive my car too?’

Steve laughed, cruising leisurely along the coast road. ‘That was completely your own fault, you shouldn’t have let her watch that movie!’

‘No, what I shouldn’t have done was let you watch her for like two seconds while I went to the store. What was I gonna do, tell her to turn it off and upset her? I blame you entirely because you are entirely to blame.’ Danny tried not to think about Steve lifting Grace while she clung to his bicep and squealed. He could do that, easy. He just didn't feel the need to fucking flaunt it at the child. 

‘I’m sorry if this got to you so much, but maybe it’s because you don’t, you know,’ Steve shrugged. ‘You don't look as manly as I do.’

‘Excuse me? Ex _cuse_ me? What, with your muscles, and your tattoos? Oh, please.’ Danny rolled his eyes and looked out the window, a muscle in his jaw twitching from trying not to smile.

‘What, I mean that’s what she was getting at, right?’ Steve put on a ridiculously cute baby voice. ‘“Danno why don’t you look like the daddy in the movie?” That’s what she meant, it’s what’s gotten you so bothered. Face it Danny, you wish you looked like this.’ He gestured to himself, seeming very satisfied.

‘Steve, your muscles don’t impress me. Anyone can go to the gym and beast out five days a week and hold still for a few needles. I’m more impressed that your head could fit through the front door after my tiny daughter was finished singing your praises.’

‘My ego is not the issue.’ Steve said flatly.

Danny laughed. ‘Oh man, If I’d known you were so easily flattered by your “manly assets” I’d bring them up more in conversation. I mean, I hope the Governor never comments on how nice your new haircut looks. You’d probably blush.’

‘I did not blush.’

‘You weren’t far off it.’

‘Hey how bout we stop off at Victory Ink and get you a little flower for your hip bone, huh? Something cute? My name, in swirly writing, just above your –‘

‘Ha, ha ha,’ said Danny, sounding bored.

‘Yeah you’re right, probably too chicken anyways.’

‘Been there, done that, my friend.’

The silence was momentarily deafening.

‘Excuse me?’

 

Four hours later, Danny regretted ever opening his mouth.

‘I’m not sure whether to keep asking or just _command_ you to show me,’ Steve pondered, as he followed Danny around 5-0. ‘I could do that, you know.’

As casual as his tone was, Danny could sense his impending aneurysm with no small amount of satisfaction.

‘Command away, but at the end of the day you’re just going to have to forget all about it, because I’m never showing you.’

‘Tell me then.’

‘Not a chance, Steven.’

'I could have you tortured,'

'Wait, then what have we been doing all day?'

They’d been on two more car journeys and to lunch, and he still hadn’t stopped. Astonishment had turned to humour, followed by pestering, badgering, then outright frustration, and finally, a deceptive calm and assumed "I don’t really care anyways" attitude that Danny didn’t believe for a second. In between grilling suspects Steve had grilled Danny, and he wasn’t the sort to let things go. Especially not something this loaded with potential hilarity.

‘I think you’re full of it.’

Danny shrugged, leaning against the wall while he calmly reviewed his report on their last case. It was just a matter of dotting a few I’s and crossing some t’s but Steve was meticulous and liked to nag Danny about his handwriting whenever he got the chance.

‘If you don’t show me, I’ve gotta assume that you’re making the whole thing up, ok?’ Steve asked, shrugging like he was trying to help Danny out.

Danny matched his shug. ‘Fine, assume away.’ He smiled blandly at him, then returned to his notes.

Steve lasted about two minutes before he slapped the screen table.

‘Those are delicate instruments you know,’ Danny remarked, as he watched Steve mentally disintegrate.

‘This is unfair!’ he growled, putting his hands on his hips. ‘You’ve seen mine!’

‘That, my friend, is because yours are on your shoulders where everyone can see them, and because you like to wear ridiculously tight t-shirts to emphasize your manly muscles and manly tattoos. Your vanity is not my problem, Steve.’

‘It’s something embarrassing, isn’t it.’

‘No.’ Danny dropped the hand holding the notes, exasperated. ‘For the thousandth time, it’s personal. Now can you please respect my privacy – you know, the privacy you care so much about when it’s concerning you, or your family espionage business – and stop asking me, please?’

Steve stared at him for a moment, then said ‘That’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said. I’m going to find out, it’s just a matter of when.’

‘And possibly _how_ ,’ Danny called after him as Steve stomped huffily out of the room. He smirked and returned to his notes.

 

‘I’ve figured it out.’

‘What’s that, babe?’

‘Your tattoo. The mysterious tattoo that you’re refusing to show me for nearly a week now. It has to be somewhere embarrassing, because I’ve gone surfing with you and never noticed a thing.’ Steve had the look of a marooned man who'd spotted a ship.

‘Maybe your detective skills are a little rusty,’ Danny commented, not looking up from his lunch. ‘I mean I guess it’s not your fault. Being a superseal meant missing out on most ordinary life skills, like normal observation and table manners.’

‘And,’ Steve pressed, ignoring Danny’s comments. ‘Since you won’t even tell me what it is, I’m 100% convinced that it’s your mother’s name in a loveheart, and it’s on your butt.’

Danny dropped his sandwich, gaping up at Steve. ‘How did you _know_?’

The brief glimmer of hope and amazement in Steve’s eyes prevented Danny from keeping that one going for even ten seconds. He barked a laugh and stretched out against the small backrest on the bench, watching Steve deflate.

‘I’m close though, right?’ he pressed, squinting at Danny through the glare of the sun.

‘Yeah, it’s my father’s name,’ said Danny, still smiling.

Steve’s shoulders slumped. ‘This isn’t fair,’ he muttered, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. He looked worn out. Danny finished off the last bit of his sandwich, eyeing Steve carefully around a mouthful of chicken and lettuce.

‘Is this keeping you up at night?’ Danny asked mockingly.

‘Yes!’ exploded Steve. ‘Well no – I mean, it’s just that I thought I knew everything about you – you’re so transparent, Danny – and then you threw a curveball and it just kind of shocked me, I guess.’

‘What, you didn’t think I had the stones for a tattoo?’ Danny raised his eyebrows. ‘Steve, I’m insulted.’ He stood up to leave.

‘It’s not that,’ protested Steve, hurrying to follow him, though he was grinning now too, mellowing out. ‘It’s just that I thought I had you figured. I know you’re not just yanking my chain … but if it was something normal, something I could understand, like Grace’s name or her birthday … but it’s not, because you won’t show me.’ Steve shrugged, running a hand over his face. ‘You’re giving me grey hairs, Danno.’

Danny rolled his eyes. ‘Don’t be so dramatic,’ he said. ‘You know you’re getting worked up about something that may or may not even exist?’

This stumped Steve briefly. ‘You mean … you don’t actually have one?’

‘You’ll have to live with not knowing the answer to that question, I’m afraid.’

Steve viciously kicked a daisy.

 

‘You think I’d make fun of it, don’t you.’

Danny looked up from his desk where he was doing paperwork. Steve was standing just inside his door, wearing an oddly formal expression.

‘What are you babbling about?’ asked Danny, trying to appear uninterested.

‘The tattoo,’ Steve began, and Danny groaned. ‘No, no! Hear me out,’ Steve continued, holding up his hands. ‘Now look, I feel like I might have offended you a little. I’ve accepted the fact that it’s personal, and that it means something to you - ’

‘If it even exists,’ interjected Danny.

‘Yes, if it even exists,’ Steven amended impatiently. ‘But honestly, I feel like I have a right to know, Danny.’

He hadn’t been expecting that one. He looked up, curious.

‘Ok, explain yourself,’ he said patiently, sitting back and folding his arms.

What followed was a six minute speech about friendship and trust and the code of brothers and in the middle of it all Steve might have said things like ‘I love you’ and ‘the strength of our friendship’, but all Danny heard was Steve getting so worked up over the possibility of Danny having a thing he hadn't been aware of that he had taken the time and energy to prepare a petition to end the secrecy. And it made him pause because, yeah, he’d been having fun with this – pretending that there was no tattoo just to wind Steve up and watch him spin around in a circle. Maybe his boy needed a reward.

Steve had finished his speech, and seemed to come to an uncertain halt. He stood there, as though waiting for Danny to pronounce him guilty or not guilty, as Danny crossed his arms and surveyed him.

‘Ok fine, I’ll show you,’ he said finally.

Steve blinked. ‘Really?’

‘No, not really,’ said Danny, standing up. ‘But I will tell you that it’s a small flame covering up a bullet wound about two inches below my balls, and you’re never seeing it, ever.’

Steve looked like a fly had just flown into his face. ‘It’s – _where_?’

Danny shrugged. ‘You heard me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go pick up my daughter.’

‘How – how did you even get a tattooist to go that low?’ Steve asked, still blinking stupidly.

Of all the questions he could ask. ‘Oh, he didn’t seem to mind,’ Danny said, raising his eyebrows suggestively and smirking as he brushed past him. The contact seemed to electrify Steve back into consciousness, and he grabbed Danny’s arm.

‘I wouldn’t either,’ he said, voice dropping an octave. ‘What if I made it worth your while?’

Danny met his eyes, and then lowered them to where Steve gripped his arm.

‘I think it would depend what you had in mind,’ he replied, raising an eyebrow, but not making any effort to loosen his grip.

Steve floundered momentarily, not really prepared for Danny to call him on his bluff. Danny wasn’t even sure if either of them were bluffing now.

‘I, uh – ‘

There was an awkward pause in which Steve’s neck began to glow red.

‘That’s it, that’s the best you’ve got?’ Danny said, rolling his eyes. ‘Poor attempt, Steven.’ He detached himself gently, feeling Steve’s eyes on him as he walked away.

‘I’m not letting this go!’ insisted Steven, sounding slightly deranged.

‘That a promise?’ Danny called back, trying not to laugh, and at the same time trying to make the slight hardening in his pants go away. If he’d ever had any doubts about Steve’s capacity to play for both teams, those doubts were now long gone.

 

Danny did eventually show him his tattoo. At the time, Steve was slightly preoccupied with other, more pressing matters, such as his mouth around Danny’s cock, and Danny’s hand in his hair, but it didn’t escape his notice. Danny felt him stiffen, and then stop moving altogether. He made a noise of complaint, and muttered, ‘Stage fright, babe?’

Steve freed his mouth, the wet pop making Danny shiver. He nosed Danny’s legs apart gently, and suddenly Danny remembered.

‘So that’s it,’ Steve muttered, hands gentle on Danny’s thighs. He couldn’t help but tense slightly when Steve ran a finger over the bumpy scar, wreathed in a small flame, black tinged with red.

‘Did it happen on the job?’ Steve asked, smoothing it very gently with his thumb.

‘Yeah,’ Danny replied, somewhat strained – he was still in a compromising position. ‘Nearly killed me. I was just a rookie. Perp liked messing around, threatened to blow my nuts off.’

'He came pretty close.' Danny trembled as Steve pressed his lips to the scar, and traced the line of the flame with his tongue.

‘Thanks for showing me,’ he murmured against Danny’s leg, hot breath making him shiver again. Then proceeded to really thank Danny by taking the entire length of him down his throat. Danny shook and gasped as Steve’s tongue did cruel, unfair things to the tip of his cock, and he came so hard his vision took a bad hit, and he clung to Steve’s hair as he swallowed every drop.

Steve crawled up Danny’s naked body, kissing little random parts of him, finally kissing his collarbone and then his lips, snuggling his head into the gap between his neck and shoulders, wrapping his arms around him and throwing his leg over. He was an unexpected cuddler, though Danny belated realized that he shouldn’t have been surprised.

He was still breathing rather hard. ‘Man, I will show you my tattoo any damn time you like from now on,’ he gasped, stroking Steve’s shoulder.

Steve’s laughter shook both their bodies. ‘That a promise?’ he murmured, and Danny could feel his smirk against his skin.

‘You bet,’ he mumbled sleepily, nodding off to the sound of Steve’s heartbeat, still beating rather fast, pressed close to his own.

**Author's Note:**

> 'Here in Your Arms' by HelloGoodbye is my inexplicable McDanno anthem, but for this I listened to a lot of 'Slave' by the Rolling Stones and also 'Peso' by A$AP Rocky
> 
> Credit to the wise and all-knowing [Autumn](http://autumnsedai.tumblr.com/) for her beta work. I'm over on [tumblr](http://wolfbuttz.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](http://twitter.com/coulsonsangels/)


End file.
